The story behind my name is frustratingly simple.

My mom always said that she wanted a little girl named Ann. I asked her why and she simply said that she thought the name was pretty and that one of her favorite characters I’m a book had a similar name. That was when I was seven. I didn’t think much of it.

It wasn’t until I was ten and I started questioning the definition of “pretty” and how it applied to my name, that her answer confused me. The name Ann didn’t seem pretty to me. It seemed average. Boring.

Ann is okay, but other girls are coming to school with cool unique names like “Kiana” and “Facienne.”

But me? In almost every school I’ve been in there had been at least ten other “Ann’s”

For the longest time I felt offended. Sure, playing the same name game is fun when you’re in elementary school. But in highschool, when you’re trying to find your own individuality and you’re surrounded by hundreds of teenagers trying to do the exact same thing, being referred to as Ann number 2 totally wrecks the self esteem. It got to the point where I considered using the nickname Bumblebee given to me by a childhood friend.

I told my mom this once and as always, she had an answer.

She told me that every name is different, even if they are exactly the same. She said that while my name may be similar in pronunciation and spelling to the 10+ girls at school, none of our names have the same origin, culture or meanings. They may sound the same, but they weren’t imagined the same. Our mother’s didn’t meet up one day and decide to name their children the same name for the same reason.

My mom said she thought the name was pretty. Someone else could think the name meant luck. Some people could have been inspired by a a baby book or an inside joke or a loved one. The possibilities are endless.

The point is is that what Ann meant to them isn’t what Ann meant to her.

And that in itself makes all of our names different.

You may not believe this about me but one thing I like to do is study words, names, phrases, and all the secret meanings they carry in between. From hard words like cruciverbalism to the simple ones like Ann, I strive to know them all.


My love is sweet like sugar, my heart is fragile like glass.

I’m waiting for love in the future, my soul is stuck in the past. -Kandy A.

Fandoms · Writing

15 Things Only Writers will Understand

1. Getting anything done is almost impossible. The hardest part of writing is actually writing. Sometimes I’ll sit with my laptop in my lap and just stare at a blank google document, re-thinking the scene I need to write over and over without being able to put it into words.









2. Being forced to self-edit and always missing something.

In your writing career, you will have to self-edit your work. And in your writing career, you will want to claw your eyes out when you see a typo in the work you’ve revised over twenty times.

3. Shipping your own characters. 

Coming up with ships for my stories is always fun. I mean, what can be more fun than having a vicarious love life through my characters. Just kidding. I do love creating a cute couple though. (Especially when I don’t confirm the canonicity of the ship and all the readers have to guess.)


4. Cringing at your own bad writing. (Especially dialogue.)


5. On the opposite side of that, feeling really proud of something you wrote. Moments like these are very rare and far between. Make sure to give yourself a pat on the back.


6. Not being able to thank your editor enough.

Having someone else edit your work with/for you is awesome. Imagine all the horrors they’ve seen when reading through the first drafts of your story. For novel writers, this scenario is different, but for all you fanfiction writers out there, you know your beta has to put up with a lot of BS.


7. Thinking about your book.


8. Trying to achieve that ritualistic writer aesthetic similar to Paul Sheldon from Misery.

Nothing is more amazing than writing your story with a tall glass of wine (or in my case, ginger ale in a wine glass), candles, and a nice, quiet, secluded house where I can let my mind work in peace.

If you’re anything like me, you know that achieving this can be virtually impossible. (Getting a hold of a wine glass without looking suspicious is almost impossible without looking ridiculous.) So when these moments happen, I take special notice.

9. Killing off your own characters.

I don’t know about other people, but every time I kill off a character I chuckle to myself. I know, it’s terrible. But since I rarely kill off characters, it’s always so…stress relieving. No matter how sad the death is, and trust me, in my last novel,  the death is tragic, I always think about how this death will affect my readers and I imagine someone flinging my book across the room. I can’t help but laugh.


10. Getting not-so-constructive criticism.

Listen, I love when people read my work and I love when people critique my work. What I don’t love are anonymous comments that only say, “This sucks.”

I mean, great, thanks for telling me. Can you tell me why? So I can fix my mistake for next time?

Why tho

11.  Having a great idea but knowing it doesn’t fit anywhere in your story.

12. Writing all day and feeling tired later on even though all you’ve been doing all day is sitting at your desk.


13. Being self-conscience about your work.

With so many amazing writers who are way better than you, it’s hard not to feel like you are the worst author ever.


14. Keeping secrets from your audience. 

Keeping secrets from your audience is great. It’s fun to have a special secret about your characters or the plot or the setting that no one else knows and no one will ever know.



15. Last but certainly not least, finishing your work of art.

There is nothing more satisfying than the first breath of air after one finishes their book, short story or fanfiction. It’s like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders.

And in a way, one has. After finishing a story, you’re finally able to put whatever moment in time you where working on to rest. The world that you crafted, the people you gave life, have now been released into the world no longer solely your responsibility to take care of. Finally you get to share this world with your audience and nothing is more amazing than that.



So that’s that! I doubt that every writer will be able to relate to all of these because all writers are different. These are just a few things that I talk about with my writing buddies and wanted to share.

Please comment constructive criticism! I love getting feedback and want to know what you think of this writing style.





Works Cited

“Patrick’s Secret Box.” Encyclopedia SpongeBobia. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 July 2017